Tuesday, December 1, 2009

pic of the day

why not?

so Melissa inspired me. ok really she told me she was gonna blog and we talked about it at work a bit and then I forgot all about it til we ran into each other today at school and I got inspired. I'm not sure why, except that I know I already post waaaaaaaaay too much on facebook and I am feeling the need to express random thought moments n stuff. my brain is sick of school and I am graduating in 13 days and blogging random crap that no one will probably ever read sounded appealing...
so here it is... I'm Angel... I often think my parent's were clueless when they named me but I love them for always thinking the best... my brother is moving to pasadena as we speak and it's just the start of TONS of change coming up soon. I don't particularly enjoy change very much because I'm a control freak deep down inside. (I know, hard to believe haha)
back to introductions.. although if anyone DOES read this they probably already know me anyway... oh well seems like an appropriate first blog I suppose. I'm 35 physically but mentally I feel about 20. I had a really sucky 10 year battle with a serious illness that almost knocked me outta this life and so I missed out on alot of stuff that other people get to experience and learn in their 20s... basically my 20s were all about doctor appointments and hospitalizations and PICC lines and all that crap. I'm super super grateful that I have been able to come out the other side of all that in one piece and fully functioning... and I feel a bit "odd" as a result.. maybe unique is a better word? I dunno... but I feel like a big kid in a woman's body sometimes and I like the perspective that I've gotten. doing nothing much besides "surviving" for 10 years tends to make a person look at life differently... and for that I'm grateful.
I'm 13 days away from graduating an RN program.... an incredible feat considering that just 4 1/2 short years ago I was unable to walk properly and without becoming incredibly exhausted. 4 years ago I could barely write my own name and had become socially isolated. It was so much easier to just stay home and wallow in self-pity and anger about my situation than to venture out into the world and risk disappointment. also I had gotten quite resentful that all the friends I had had "before illness" were able to go out and do life and date and get married and graduate college and have kids... anyway it really created alot of internal struggle and after a couple years of IV antibiotics I was able to get a parttime job again and started taking college classes again. I was encouraged to apply to nursing school and did, mostly just so some friends would get off my back about it.. cuz I NEVER thought I would get in. Well I did... and again found more stuff to be afraid of.. would I be able to work 12 hours on my feet? would I be able to pass exams? etc... anyway needless to say it's been a challenging but incredibly rewarding 2 years to complete the RN program and I can't wait to be able to help other people like I was helped by so many nurses along the way... I am SO grateful to the Big Dude upstairs. I certainly do not take credit for all this life I have today.

what else about me? I'm a total dork... I used to think maybe I had some sort of "social retardation" but now I realize it's just who I am and I love it.. I am in love with life. I am completely addicted to diet coke, coffee, and shrimp. I drink at least one glass of fat free milk everyday. I take Flintstone vitamins because some part of me is resistant to taking vitamins but if I think it's like candy I'll take them. I have a stray cat I named Brownie cuz she's brown... and a beta fish named Mason cuz he lives in a Mason jar. I can't go anywhere without my cell phone and Nivea Lip Moisturizer. seriously. I love road trips and exploring. I'm single and don't have any kiddos... I am scheduled for jury duty on January 11th and I'm bugged by that.. they won't leave me alone! geesh! I love spirituality and God... oh yeah and I had an amazing experience once when I was at the worst of my illness and I can promise you there is a God... I'm just sayin. I am "apolitical"... politics are lame to me and I avoid them at all cost. I am fascinated by the ocean and space. I HATE crunchy bugs and I can't eat anything I saw alive... so I don't fish. I feel bad for the lobsters in the tanks in restaurants too.

well... that's MORE than enough. time for dinner.